Sunday, October 11, 2009

21. Tings Nov 21

(3:53 pm Nov 21, 2005)


West. Go far enough and you end up east. Young man.

Ouch. Think regular and not Scottish. I woke up with a major headache today and it is still hanging around. Despite my efforts to banish it.

West. East, west, north, south. Two hundred and seventy. Europe and the Americas. Away from planetary rotation. Longitude. The prime meridian. Fight. Wild. Wild wild.

Could a pirate beat a cowboy? Unless I am mistaken, that story will have to wait until another book.

I hope these words today help me to tell you this tale. I need easy going with this aforementioned aching head causing trouble.

So, this is how things break down:

The soldiers have long ago discovered the pirate tunnels in the west, but they have never clued into the existence of the adjoining tunnels in the east. They have never discovered the system of doors.

The tunnels they discovered are much less extensive than the others and while they contained vast amounts of wealth, it was nothing compared to what remained undiscovered.

Ezza discovered the tunnels in the east. He has let Cang and XXIII in on the discovery and they are exploring and mapping as we speak. The amount of treasure available to them is orders of magnitude greater than that available to the soldiers. This despite the fact that the soldiers have had access to theirs for years and have invested wisely.

The soldiers are searching everywhere for Cang and XXIII as they old stories foretell disaster upon the joining forces of a man and a soldier. So far, despite their best efforts, which are extensive and very good indeed, they have no inkling of where their quarry might be.

The east crew have overheard the soldiers plans and are seeking to fund themselves for the conflict with the treasure they have discovered.

(4:10 pm Nov 21, 2005)

You should know that Ezza received a call today from his buddy suggesting a better way to go about their plans. He said that instead of suing a furnace and pouring ingots that they could use a torch and a crucible and shot it.

(4:40 pm Nov 21, 2005)

Man, as you can see, the black hole is sucking in the time at a furious rate right now.

They also discussed the traceability of the resulting gold and the initial thoughts were that it would not be traceable but it might be identifiable as old gold.

The team thought this might pose a problem, but they did not as yet see any way around this.

In case you are wondering, the soldiers had been going about their work, just not reporting in. Another wrinkle for me to deal with. It seems like they were unwilling to let me know they were working, but their efforts were too important to them to actually shut off during our little misunderstanding. Still, no one has actually given me the whole picture as to exactly what went down last week. There may be some clues I have missed. Should I go back and re-read everything carefully to see if I can find any? I just don't have time to do t hat and keep the word count rising properly.

(4:46 pm Nov 21, 2005)


Two Irishmen walked out of a bar. (Cue laughter.)


Villain. Wicked. Evil. Hero. Not. Plot. Turn. Lair. Dastardly. Hat. Black. Twirling. Rope. Tracks.

Good guys, bad guys.
No one seems to care.
Good girls, bad girls.
Trouble everywhere.

(4:58 pm Nov 21, 2005)

So the question arises, does this book have a villain or villains? I would appreciate your help with this delicate matter gentle reader.

Are the soldiers the villains?

(5:00 pm Nov 21, 2005)

(6:25 pm Nov 21, 2005)

You hear that big sucking sound? I guess you know what that is. I almost got sucked in myself that time.

Are Cang and XXIII the bad guys? If so, is Ezza also a bad guy, or is he an unwitting accomplice. Is he unaware that they are anything but upright.

And the beat goes on.

Hey Bruno, you back to work or what? What about Melody, did you speak with her and what did she say?

Right, just great. You need more time off to catch up on your nano novel and promote live music but she is coming back tomorrow. Well, if that's how it has to be, tell her thanks and see you when you are ready.

So, gentle reader, you see the situation, you see the complications, you see how promising situations can simply fall apart. What's a nano writer to do?

"Ah, Sean, there is a tale to tell. And there is a tail to wag. Wisdom in life is to know the difference before you become twelve squared and are asked to leave the Royal Navy."

The block is back and the aching head is still here. I am going to have to undertake radical block removal surgery. This may be painful for me as a writer and even more so for you as a reader. Now, If you find it too painful, I suggest you skip ahead until you find:

***** Block Successfully Removed *****

but all in capital letters. Or until we reach a new day. I hope to be clear tomorrow if not before. I would have put the whole thing in capitals above but that might have confused some of my readers who are not as astute as you, gentle reader. You see, they may have thought that the block was already successfully removed and started right in to reading again and had to endure unnecessary words upon words of pain inducing verbiage. I could not in good conscience run that risk with some of my more delicate readers. Readers without your iron fortitude and will.

If I experience unexpected pain while attempting this block removal surgery, gentle reader, will you gold my hand and give me another shot of rum? If the rum runs out, switch to the tequila, but please strain the worm.

Almost through the villain section of the day. That did it right there. On to the next word. Perhaps this will prompt a greater inventiveness and wordsmithingness.


Happy. Yeah right. Happy. Look on the bright side. I could be way behind like Bruno and feeling like I am now. Rushing to catch up and suffering an aching head and mental block at the same time. Joy. Good fortune. Pleasure.
In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
A stately pleasure-dome decree:

Happy. Glad.

Happy. Go lucky. Puppy. Trails.

Can we get back to that pleasure dome? Is that like some new virtual reality peripheral? Do they have models with usb and fire wire? That device might have legs you know.

Twenty seven, but who's counting? (Cue laughter.)

You just have to take one block. Pick it up. Put it down in the middle of the room. Reach into your head, pick up another block. Place it on top of the one already in the middle of the room. Reach into your head again for another block, careful not to remove too many ideas at the same time now. Place it beside the two already stacked. [Insert old computer joke about understanding recursion. (No laughter cued, no laughter expected.)]

Use these blocks to build the edifice of your story. Take them out of yourself, out of your mind, out of your brain, out of your head. One by one. Use them to create what you need. Use your obstacles to your advantage. Do not be beat down by the opposition. Get up and do it again.

So, what do you really need to perform radical block removal surgery on your self? A cigar that is between five and seven years old. The closer to seven, the better. Two steamer trunks of TNT. Three hundred yards of twenty pound test blue nylon thread. Hooks and needles. And hooked needles even. You should also procure the help of a loving member of the opposite sex if at all possible. Just to comfort you in your hour of need.

Am I missing anything? Not that I can think of right now although I have a strange feeling in the back of my head that I am missing something important.

(7:07 pm Nov 21, 2005)

(7:25 pm Nov 21, 2005)

Suck. Vortex action. Bagless or bagged? Hepa filter?

Freedom. Some of us like to sit around and talk about it. Some would have others believe that that is all freedom is... just some people talking... and they express it in the most beautiful way. But don't you believe it. Some of us do more than just talk about it. Some take action. Some make sacrifices. Some great sacrifices, some minor. Sacrifices all the same. Some great action, some small. Action all the same. Actions all the same.

This book you are reading is a small example of the actions some are taking. This book you are reading comes to you with a Creative Commons Atribution-ShareAlike license. You can do more with this book (legally that is) than you can with a book that comes to you clothed with a standard copyright notice or what some refer to as an all rights reserved notice. You have greater freedoms with this book.

Of course, since I give these freedoms, some who do not wish you to have them may have taken this part out of my book and you may not actually be reading these words you are reading. Woah. Is that like anti-recursion or something? So, my advice to you would be to read these words before someone with bad intent and some scuba gear removes them and you cannot read them any longer.


Opera. Drama set to music. So what do you call action set to music? Or comedy set to music? A pirate movie / play set to music?


A rocky sea-shore on the coast of Cornwall


A ruined chapel by moonlight


ALL: Pour, O pour the pirate sherry;
Fill, O fill the pirate glass;
And, to make us more than merry
Let the pirate bumper pass.

Yes, we know, THE PIRATES OF PENZANCE. But that is a particular example, what would be the general appellation? You see the problem. It is as if you were to say that you call a drama set to music Falstaff instead of an opera. That would just not do.

"What Falstaff did you see tonight?"

"La bohème."

Just not right, is it?

Opera. A browser. If this is the opera you are interested in, I suggest Firefox instead. It seems much more musical to my freedom loving ear.

(7:46 pm Nov 21, 2005)

(7:53 pm Nov 21, 2005)

You'll notice I havent written:

***** Block Successfully Removed *****

all in capitals yet. That is because I haven't yet really begun this radical block removal surgery. To tell you the truth, I am a bit hesitant to perform such a surgery on myself. What if I cut out something other than a block by mistake? I mean, it is not like I have all that much extra that I can afford to remove things by mistake. You, gentle reader, may have so much extra in the cranial department that you have extra, brain to burn as it were. Sorrowfully, I do not enjoy that luxury. I have to husband my resources. I cannot spend my grey cells in a profligate manner. I just cannot.

Freedom. Join me in talking. Join me in not just talking. If you are inspired by Tings and would like to use it to build upon, please read and understand the license and the rights and freedoms extended to you in the license and get to work.

Look up and read about copyleft and consider if you can make anything and copyleft it. Give others some raw materials to build on.

Oh, I forgot, to remove those blocks properly and safely, you will need to procure a few more necessary items. A nuclear powered rock hammer. A titanium tam, and a misfortune cookie.

Let's see, am I still missing anything?

(8:12 pm Nov 21, 2005)

No comments:

Post a Comment