Sunday, October 11, 2009

30. Tings Nov 30

(9:42 am Nov 30, 2005)


Never. Not really, not ever. Again. Say never. A bride. Quit. Forget. Oh you elephants. Fear. On Sunday. In a thousand years.

Now or never boys. Tomorrow never comes. Not even to never-never land. Perhaps especially not there.

"Never say never!"

"Why not? You say it all the time!"

"I do not, I never say never!"

"You do too, you just said it again."

"What, never?"

"Yes, never."

"I did not, I never say never."

"You just said it two more times."




"Said it again."

"I did not!"

"Look, you say it every time you try to give that piece of advice. At least every time I have ever heard you. You have never said, "Never say never!" without you yourself saying never. At least twice. So how can you tell others to never say never when you set such a poor example? You say never all the time."

"Look, stop being a jerk, you know I never say never and I never say die."

"Did it again, just said never and die."

"Will you cut it out?"


"I told you not to say never."

"Why not? You say it."


"You just did."

"I did not!"

"Look, how often do you say never?"

"I never say never."

"I give up, you always say never but you never admit it."

"No I don't, I never say never and I never will."

(9:57 am Nov 30, 2005)

And so we come to day thirty. To the last day of November. November two thousand and five. To the last day of NaNoWriMo two thousand and five. To that last glorious day of writing. Of adding words to our novels. Of trying to get to that mythical place where we can write:

The End.

Luckily, I was able to write that right at the beginning of my novel this year and I feel no pressure to duplicate that feat here on the last day of the month.

If I do get to write:

The End.

When I get to the end of the day's writing, so much the better, but there is no pressure. If I do write:

The End.

It will in effect, just be another beginning anyway. Hmmmm, you know, that might be pressure.

I mean, just suppose I were to finish my day's quota of words (self imposed) by around eight o'clock tonight. Where would I be then? Four hours to midnight and having to face a new beginning! Could my psyche handle that?

Never! No wait, I must never say never.

When will politicians tell the whole truth?

When will the Ministry of works not dig up major roads in December? (I hope to be wrong in this.)

When will Tings reach the top of the Best Seller List? (Don't get any bright ideas and try to prove me wrong and make me eat crow gentle reader.)

When will bureaucracies work efficiently?

When will time wait for No Man?

Who is this No Man anyway?

Gotcha, never doesn't fit there does it? When will it?

(10:11 am Nov 30, 2005)

(3:52 pm Nov 30, 2005)


Write. Compose. Mark. Record. Program. Type. Save. Insure. Underwrite. Sell. Flux reversals - ooooh. You like?

Write? Right. Bin dere, done dat.

Melody stopped by Bruno's place to see how his writing was coming along. She let herself in and walked over to his desk and massaged his neck and then kissed the top of his head. "How's it coming along? Are you gonna make it?"

"It is coming along fine but I am not sure I can make it. I should if I don't hit any major blocks or have any big interruptions. It may come down to the wire though."

"Listen, Mocha and I are going over to a friend's house tonight to watch a movie and play some cards. If you do get done early and want to give me a call, maybe we could do something to celebrate later."

"That sounds great, but I doubt I am going to be able to finish early. Listen, I like the celebration idea though. If we don't get to tonight, how about tomorrow?"

"Great, send me an email or call me to let me know if you make it then."

"Sure, listen, I think some of the local Nano crowd are thinking about having an after party. If they get something together, you wanna go to it with me?"

"Probably, let me know when you know more. I gotta run. Good luck."

(4:05 pm Nov 30, 2005)

Right on, write on brother.Write on. That's what I'm talking about.

Time is fleeting. Time was not on Bruno's side. No not much. No, not at all. Time was his enemy. Gentle reader, the good night was fast approaching. And, gentle reader, if you were in Bruno's shoes right now, I would have to say, "Do not go Gentle, into that good night." Yeah, I know.

(4:14 pm Nov 30, 2005)


In case you are wondering, Nano and Drake have been busy. It is just that I am not at liberty to tell you all that they have been up to. It is just that sometimes, they contract out to the government for black ops and we have this understanding that I will not give away any information concerning what they do on those ops. I am allowed to mention the existence of said ops, but not the nature. It is a compromise that we have worked out over the time we have know each other.

(4:17 pm Nov 30, 2005)

How do I know about the black ops and their involvement? I thought that would be obvious gentle reader, it is on account of my quadripple artdecohedron security clearance and limbo skillz.

(4:19 pm Nov 30, 2005)

I can tell you that they were unable to cause any major, lasting trouble between Frizz and Felina. It is, to my knowledge, one of their rare failures. That was not one of their black ops, but the government did learn of the failure and have insisted that they take next month off and attend some new and refresher training courses, all expenses paid of course. I would like to tell you where, but I can't. Just in case you are to be one of their targets you know.

(4:23 pm Nov 30, 2005)


Utter. Express. Articulate. Talk. Verbalize. Arrant. Complete. Consummate. Thoroughgoing. Dead. Circulate.

Utter Nonsense.

The utter fools guide to udders and rudders. A fifty cent illustrated guide. On sale now for fourteen ninety five at better bookstores everywhere. Another fine howto book in the utter fools series of books. Formerly the complete morons series. Soon to be merged with the Made Difficult series of books and instructional videos.

Just a quick reminder from the zany section yesterday. Don't forget to send in your investment money.

STOP IT! No, gentle reader not you, me. What? Oh, I just caught myself going back into previous days work and doing some light editing. Correcting spellings, fixing a few words here and there, minor stuff really, but I really will not allow myself to get sucked into that before the month is over. On the whole, I have been very successful in following that self imposed rule so far this month. I will not let myself fall prey to it at this late date.


And what of Jelli Rolle and his ordeal? Jelli is doing fine. In case it wasn't obvious, he comes from a close knit family and they were a major factor in his swift recovery. It seems as though he is going to be a big star. Those underhanded Hollywood types are going down for their dirty tricks, but it also seems that the movie they were making was so good that it is going to be released anyway with all the proceeds going to replay the victims for all of their suffering.

Rocky was especially helpful in getting Jelli back to normal.

(4:45 pm Nov 30, 2005)

(5:02 pm Nov 30, 2005)

That's not even funny. Never say I didn't warn you.

Utter genius.

Udder genius?

Utter genius. Mr. Write. Bruno the Magnificent. Bruno the Man. Bruno the Marvel. Bruno and Melody. The beat and the tune. The man in the moon. The Silver Dollar Saloon. The Buzz. Wink and nudge.

Nano and Drake have come back from their black op and have reported for duty. I am thinking of sending them around to see what they can do for Bruno, but even as I think, I am having second thoughts. I think I will leave Bruno to his own devices, leave him to sink or swim on his own. To fish, cut bait, or get out of the boat. Actually, come to think of it, it is after he gets out of the boat that he will have to sink or swim. Perhaps I will fix that in an edit, but for now, I need the word count. Hmmm, if I edit it out, how will you read it? Gentle reader, how?

(5:10 pm Nov 30, 2005)

Only ten more words to write as things stand at this moment and at the moment I started this sentence and I will be able to move on to the last prompt word for the day, for the month, and for the year. There.

(5:11 pm Nov 30, 2005)


Love. Yes, love. Love conquers everything. Love conquers all. All you need is love. Really. Love is all you need. Love will see you through.

Love just walked in. BRB.

(5:13 pm Nov 30, 2005)

(6:53 pm Nov 30, 2005)

The things we do for love. Love changes everything. Love hurts. Love, love, love.

Eros, phileo, atorge, agape.

Remember libre and gratis?

Those English wordsmiths. Suffering from a wealth and a paucity combined.

Don't you just love it when you are there yet? How about when you are there but you are not there yet? That is the situation I have found myself in for days. But, gentle reader, I am almost there. And when I get there, I will be there and I will be there. You might say I will be there squared.

(7:00 pm Nov 30, 2005)

(7:03 pm Nov 30, 2005)

But not yet. One two three red light. No! Green light! Go!

Mother may I take three giant steps? Yes!

Where is love?

Love is all around? Love is in the air? Love is in the little things?

Love is real.

Love is a burning fire.

Love is a dream.

Don't wake the dreamer.

Who loves you?

Love is where you find it.

Love. You want it. You need it. You've gotta have it.


Love everlasting.

Don't worry gentle reader. The love sectin will end at some point in the near future even if love itself is everlasting. True love.

True love and true love ways.


Beauty sits on high
perfect in her pale blue gown
and looks out on the lists where just
those stout men of renown

In mortal combat now they meet
their steeds so valiant, true
While high above her silver locks
gleam with radiant hue

Beauty sits on high
perfect in her gentle ways
While on the ground thunder sounds
and knights in ardour meet

Beauty and love. Intertwined down through the ages. Does beauty inspire love. Or does love see beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. That's what I have heard for many years.

Beauty and love. Cointertwingled. Deeply.

(7:25 pm Nov 30, 2005)

The melody is in my heart
The harmony is in my soul
The rhythm it is in my blood
I feel the music take control
And I move.

The music of love. The look of love.

Love the base, love the pinnacle.

Just a few more words now gentle reader and we can call it a day, call it a week, call it a month, call it a book, call it a done deal.

Call it what you will.

Call on me. Love.

Call out my name. Love.

Love is tender.

Love smiles at you and melts your heart.

Love on the rocks. Not true love. Never.

Never say never. Stop. Don't mix up the beginning and

(7:35 pm Nov 30, 2005)

The End.

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